The Wook Spectrum

Level 1: Wook-Adjacent

• Also known as: “Festival Curious”
• Showers regularly
• Has a job or at least a plan
• Owns one pair of patchwork pants “ironically”
• Likes jam bands / folk / bluegrass but also indie & country
• Brings snacks, not nitrous

Energy:

I like the vibe, not the lifestyle

Level 2: Soft Wook

• Also known as: “Boho Goblin”
• Thrifted layers, rings on every finger
• Knows how to spin poi or at least tries
• Talks about energy, cycles, and the moon—casually
• Sleeps in a van sometimes
• Still respects personal space

Energy:

Earthy, charming, mildly chaotic

Level 3: Core Wook

• Also known as: “This Is the Way”
• Patchwork pants are daily wear
• Dreads, braids, or intentional mess hair
• Lives for festivals and follows bands
• Trades grilled cheese, crystals, or vibes
• Smells like sage + campfire + mystery

Energy:

Chaotic good

Level 4: Deep Wook

• Also known as: “Bus Dweller / Nitrous Nomad”
• May not know today’s date
• Camps next to the festival, not at it
• Money appears and disappears mysteriously
• Speaks in inside jokes and lore
• Hygiene is… optional

Energy:

Reality is flexible

Level 5: Elder / Feral Wook

• Also known as: “Forest Entity”
• Hasn’t used money in years
• May appear shirtless in winter
• Exists outside capitalism
• Knows things you don’t want to know
• Possibly immortal

Energy:

You don’t find them—they find you

Important Notes

• Wook ≠ bad
• It’s a culture, not a character flaw.
• Many people move up and down the spectrum over time.
• Festivals temporarily push everyone at least one level wookier.

TL;DR

Levels 1–2: Socially acceptable, charming

Level 3: Classic wook

Levels 4–5: Enter at your own risk

This article was submitted by Tom Tomlinson on 12/25/2025 and accepted on the same day.

Merry Christmas!